My nephew – I mentioned I live with my brother and my best favorite sister-in-law and their two fine sons – keeps bringing colds home from school.

I spent years in hot climates and never had a single damn cold once. They are called colds because your body 'knows' that viruses don't survive well in a cold environment, and it shuts down huge parts of your immune system so as not to waste energy needed to keep warm, and you get a cold and die. Your own body hasn't learned the law of unintended consequences. Honestly, what hope is there? One day I am going to live in a warm climate again. I will. Every damn day I nearly get on a plane – by the way, did you know that 20% of people would leave the UK if the could? That's like tabloid readers, so personally, I think it's more.