Another time, another Guardia story. Again, I'll outline the scene and let you play it out as though it were in the UK (or wherever) and see what you think happened. Compare and contrast...

I was speeding – everyone does – and I had had a drink or two, probably over the limit (this was out of town, no one... and I mean no one... speeds in towns), and I had no ITV (the MOT equivalent – this was obvious, it's a sticker you put in the windscreen), and I was wearing no seatbelt (this law had just come into force. So, I was stopped because they happened to be doing speeding that day. Now, what happened?

They fined me for speeding. And I didn't have quite enough cash on me so they waived the total. No further action, no booze test, no fine for the seatbelt, no fine for not having a current ITV, not a word about anything else.

They are not out to get you. You are not a criminal. Hell, I got stopped with no insurance and no papers for the car – I was moving it because I had to, and they get that. You are not a criminal, you are a citizen going about your life. I am a civil servant, here to help you, not make your life difficult. Get the car moved, and don't make a habit of it.

And people wonder why I like Spain.